Lucky In Love

I don't really know if I believe in luck but if I did I would have thought that my parents had some of the best and worst luck in the world. My Dad bought into a franchise right before he married my mother he was trying to decide between a McDonald's or a Lum's (a Arby's type place) of course he chose the Lum's and his restaurant was doing great until the franchise fell apart and he would have to come up with some over sized amount of money to keep his doors open. Growing up we would ocationally tease about how life would be if he had chosen the McDonald's. The next occupation I remember would be as a mason. He started his own business and as a child when visiting Utah Valley we always had to drive by at least a dozen homes he had done brick work on. His business was great and our family moved into a brand new home in American Fork. It was 1980 and the housing market bottomed out suddenly there was no work and my Dad got very depressed. He went into a creative mode and built my sisters and I a beautiful barbie house. In the mean time my Mother who was desperate to make ends meet sold all my Dad's equipment. This became a sore spot forever more with my Dad who I think would have eventually recovered his business. Instead my pregnant Mother, my four siblings and I moved into my Grandmothers basement. My father went to Colorado to find work. His up and down career in sales began. My Dad came to get us after my brother Warren was born (#6). My Dad would have a long career in sales and start a property management business that would create some stability for a while. He was and is a life long entrepreneur. His luck was good for short periods of time but I don't think he ever saw a ten year stretch in any employment.

When my mom won the Atari

My Mother was always very creative and good at squeezing dollars out of dimes. We had amazing Halloween costumes made out of odds and ends and birthday parties were the same some how she always pulled it off. She won an atari computer back when very few people had computers in their homes. We had Pac Man in our house! Then she won bikes from 7 eleven we would have to fill out stacks of entry forms eveyday after school and she put our names in drawing all over. Every 7 eleven had one bike to win and our family won 6 of them. So I guess you could say she was the lucky one.
If our bad luck was in money then our good luck was in health. My parents had eight children we had stitches a time or two but no broken bones or glasses. There were a few catastrophys like the time my big brother Adam accedently cut of the tips of two of his fingers reaching into a running lawn mower. Or when my little sister was playing doctor and used a razor blade to cut the same big brothers wrist. I had found the razor blades and placed them in our toy doctor kit they looked like fun and I knew they were for medical purposes. But the very worst catastrophy to ever face our family was when my baby brother Darin (#7) drank paint thiner.

Darin

My mother was always making our home beautiful it didn't matter if we owned or rented she would clean and garden like crazy we always had the most beautiful yard and home.To decorate she would paint. I always had pretty walls in my room. This time she was painting an accent wall in our living room. My Dad was a traveling salesman and out on the road. Of course because she had a project under way the house was in disaray and that was the first thing I noticed as I walked in the door from a hard day of 4th grade. I saw my Mother holding my brother on her lap with the phone under her neck. She was frantic and he was a grayish color she had a glass of milk and was pooring it into him. A moment later a man in a blue uniform rushed into my home and my Mother and baby brother were gone. As the rest of my syblings arived we huddled together on the sofa looking out the window, we were waiting for my brother who would be home from the junior high. We clung to each other crying. When my brother did arrive he was in a mood and told us all we were stupid and went down to his room. The rest of us decided that their was only one thing to do so we gathered in a circle and knelt in prayer we prayed and cried and prayed. My brother was life flighted to a children's hospital and was there for three days. For those three days we had no parents. People from church took care of us. My mother was serving in the Stake Young Women's presidency with this amazing lady name Carol she came with a team of cleaning ladies that did a number on our entire house. We were taken care of. I remember my Dad was never reached (there were no cell phones) and he said it was a good thing because he was very far away and would have likely killed himself speeding home. I was so scared, but that prayer we gathered as children to pray it was a powerful thing my baby brother should not have lived and he did. I don't think that was luck I think it was faith and our prayers and the prayers of everyone who loved us healed my baby brother. So maybe we were never lucky with money but we were always lucky in love.

Mandy, Warren, Me, Darin, Adam, Cordy and Ethan I think this picture is why I started to get self concious of my big forehead.

Trea Today

Todd and I Easter 2013

I turn 39 this year. I will have a son Graduate from High School. My baby will start 1st grade. Who I am is changing. I remember the days of babies and toddlers when Church was about the routine because you would never be able to hear anything in Sacrament meeting (Church) anyway. When a date was, the kids are all asleep and we hope they stay that way. My life was lit up by all kinds of firsts, first steps and first teeth, first team, first dive into the pool, first word, first day of school. The firsts aren't over and they will never end that is one of the sweet things about parenting. However, they are shifting. I always looked forward to the different phases of life. I celebrated my first gray hair. I still can't wait to meet my son after two long years as a missionary. To see a daughter glowing on her wedding day. But something is here that I didn't realize would be so present. Disappointment, so many could have, why didn't we do that differently, and if only moments.

We lived in Orem for 11 years I lived in a house that I thought would be our forever home. We moved in 2007 for a job that was lost in December of 2012. If we had never moved we would own our home mortgage free. We both struggle with this, "If Only". Two years ago we moved again mostly for location reasons. We found a home we both loved but realistically wouldn't work and was over priced anyway. It nagged at us for a while and we then prayerfully entered a very difficult negotiation to buy the house. This home is everything we never new we always wanted. One acre a huge front room great for family gatherings and a closeness for our children who all have to share rooms now. Things didn't go how we thought they would, having Todd lose his job meant cashing in all our savings to keep the house. There would be no funds for renovations or missions it was all gone all to save the house. If we had not moved this time, we would be in a home that needed very little maintenance we would still have our savings. Logic says if we were losing the job that would be the better place to be.

The last year or so we both carried this, "What If?". We will talk about how we know this is what was best for our kids emotionally and socially. You can get a real clear picture of what might have been when you just look at numbers but when you look at the experiences and growth of an entire family there is no real way to compare or get a clear picture of how we would all be different. So we focus on our faith and strive to live inspired lives. We forgive ourselves and each other for the times we made financial choices without being prayerful. We have learned our lesson, I hope. We both try very hard to focus on living inspired lives. To celebrate the amazing and beautiful children we are raising. Sometimes it is easier than others.

To work or not work is the issue on the table all the time. In the fall of 2012 we both knew Todd would be losing his job and we prayed about my going back to work. The answer was no. Todd accepted that answer and I fought it. I wanted to help. I wanted to be self reliant. I went on a run and for me this is a great time to ponder and receive direction and revelation. I came home and told Todd that we needed to grow a garden, a big garden. I knew I wasn't supposed to work and if I look at our families emotional needs and step away from the numbers I don't want to work. My life long dream was to be a stay at home mom. But I like a plan and this one was not adding up. I didn't work, Todd lost his job, we grew a huge garden and were able to raise money for Steve's mission with pumpkins. Things turned out okay we are okay. But the feelings of disappointment linger. Todd's job is fine, we can live in the house the way it is it's fine, we are making ends meet just fine. It's all just fine!

I ask myself if it's time for me to work and what kind of work. I would love to be a real estate agent but the timing isn't right. I could wait tables again but I wouldn't be home after school. I could be a school lunch lady but the money is bad. I am living in my own little refiners fire. Learning to live an inspired life is harder than I thought. Keeping my priorities strait is harder than I thought. My children need me in a totally different way then they used to it's just as intense as babies and toddlers its just different. I am adjusting. I have challenged myself to a Quantum Leap. The only way I will be successful is if I can have an attitude adjustment. I have to focus on what I really want and celebrate all the joy that I have in my life right now!

I am writing my personal history. It is good for me. I think it is helping. I am not bitterly disappointed with my childhood or the struggles or challenges my family had. I hope my children won't be either. Looking back some how is helping me look and move forward in a happy way. I had a conversation with someone who is bitterly disappointed with their life. She feels like a victim and is ashamed. I don't want to feel that way about my life. When Todd told me he didn't want a promotion at work I was so mad at him. He just wants to be an assistant manager right now well that is just great! Numbers began to haunt me again. Things won't add up, now I need to get a job for sure. I talked to a close friend and she asked me some good questions. I love Todd, I wouldn't change his personality for anything. She helped me see that if I changed the things about his personality that led him to his decision he wouldn't be him and we wouldn't be us. I like him he is a good kind and hardworking husband and father. I want to remember even this time with fondness. We have so much that is good and happy and beautiful to celebrate.

Quantum Leap

It's okay to make plans. I am making plans again but I am not placing so much on them. They are more like fun ideas of what might be with no time line to accomplish. It's an exercise in hope for the realist in me.
House Plans, Vacation Plans, Occupation Plans. Lots of pinterest.

Showing gratitude for my physical body by giving it better food and exercise.The information is all there I know what to do I just have had a lack of motivation and will power.

Recovering some lost routines improving others. Family Home Evening, house keeping, scheduling, parenting skills, journal keeping (or blogging).

Learning something new and sharing it with my kids. Sign language.

Improving personal prayer and scripture study!!!

Really accepting that I have spent to much time mucking about finding lots of good things to distract me from doing the best ones. I don't know why some women can work and still be great mothers and I can't. Half of me is really mad that working isn't right for me right now. The other half of me is so thankful that I am not. I hate it because there are things I want and places that I want to take my kids. I may never have them. They are good things. But they are not the best and when it comes to best we have those available to us. Most importantly the ability to live by inspiration and set that example for our kids so we prayed and the answer is no I should not work right now. The best thing I can give my children is to accept that answer and live up to the required sacrifice happily. Make the moments matter. Be the best me I can be.

So this year I am making a Quantum Leap. There is no check list there are some Goals and plans but mostly it's all about striving. Our family has a motto, "Practice, Remember, Do Your Best!" If I want my kids to live this I have got to. I began with the desire that I know I can do better than this. I want to see a better me by the end of the year. So I am forgiving myself and taking a leap.

Joell's house

Me in my favorite shirt with my favorite person!

People who know me would say that I am bold and out spoken. Someone who speaks my mind  freely. This was nurtured in me it was not in my nature to be this way. I grew up with bold out spoken parents who taught me to ask lots of questions and to question everything. I don't think this parenting style is common in my religious culture and I deeply appreciate that I was raised this way.

My nature is a happy obedient one. I was a very shy child who didn't have school friends until I was 7ish. I had lots of imaginary friends and lived much of my childhood in my own make believe stories. My first real friend was my Aunt Carla and she was my friend because she encouraged and accepted my creative world. She didn't tease me, rather she played right along and became like a beautiful angel in my little girl world and first true life long friend. She is a paraplegic and her chair was my house. I loved to play under her chair. The spokes of her wheels were my kitchen and she was always willing to eat or drink whatever I made. I would push her legs open to crawl through the front door to climb up on her lap. She was so beautiful to me with her long beautiful hair and bright happy eyes. The first time I realized that she was challenged was when she went away for a while. I missed her and was told that Carla was learning how to do lots of things for herself that she wanted to do. I was taken to visit her and I remember that she was learning to tie her shoes. I was learning how to tie my shoes! Up til then her chair and even her tightly fisted hands were not to me challenging. She had a cool bag on her leg and could pee in the parking lot right out of her pant leg, she could do all kinds of wonderful things with her wheels and she could paint and draw better than anyone I knew. Her love gave my soul strength.

  In 1980 I was 5 and she graduated from BYU with

her degree in Art. That year I was part of her art show called, "Joell's House" That was my name then Joell. (My middle name) I was so proud the show was really all about her chair, my house, but in my five year old mind it was all about me. I was her favorite and she was mine and the whole world knew. You would have thought I was going to Disneyland I was so exited to attend the opening of her show. We were very late due to incredibly thick fog and I remember how scary it was and how slow my Dad drove. I also remember him considering turning around because it was so dangerous. I am so thankful he didn't. I felt like a queen that night.
The next year my family moved from Utah to Colorado and I missed Carla. She came to visit and I knew something was wrong. My Mom was unhappy with her. My older sister told me it was because Aunt Carla was queer. To me queer was a mean name kids called each other on the play ground, I had no idea what it really meant. I was furious with my sister for calling my wonderful aunt a name. My Mother assured me that Carla was not a queer and shewed me away.
 Big sisters don't like getting in trouble and they don't like being wrong either most especially when they know they are right. At some point in secrecy my sister explained what queer meant to me. I was told that she lived with her friend but I knew how things really were and with only the guidance of my elementary aged sister I formed my own conclusions and there was one thing for sure Aunt Carla was no longer my best friend and I was not eating anything that was made at her house. Years later when my family made our exodus back to Utah and met with repeated catastrophe Aunt Carla came to the rescue and became a best friend to me again. But that is a story for another day.
As I got older my parents would become very open about having conversations about various topics, they were always willing to talk. I am not sure why they didn't talk to me about it then. I guess they didn't want to upset me or they thought I was to young. Lesson learned when kids ask give them the truth because they will find it with out you, and you won't be able to script the meaning and help them process the information. So when my eight year old came to me asking about oral sex because of something a neighbor told him we sat down and had the full birds and the bees talk right then, I wasn't happy about it but he needed answers. I didn't ban him from playing with that neighbor he was a sweet boy with a very challenging situation and ironically is gay.

Being A Popular...drug dealer?

My sister, our big brother, and I

Being popular is a big responsibility, even on a 4th grade level. I had boys bringing me gifts and asking me to be their girl friend. My first love had been Chris in 1st grade. He broke my heart when he drank out of the drinking fountain at the same time as that hussy Jessica. Of course this was just a rumor but I believed it. My big brother had helped me write a letter to Chris and that ended up getting read by my teacher because he couldn't read the big words my brother had helped me pen. I should have learned my lesson about letting my brother help me out in matters of love but there are sadly more stories where that came from.The point is I didn't want anyone to get hurt the way I had been. The truth is I loved Angelo. He was a cute little Spanish boy with dimples and a shy disposition like my own. So he was never brave enough to ask me to be his girl friend and I was not going to be mean so I just went out with who ever asked me. After all going out with someone didn't really mean anything any way. I was given a lot of jewelery and when my mom found out she said I couldn't accept gifts like that and that it was because I was to young. Now I realize that it was really because she suspected some shop lifting.

Front row Chris (red shirt), Jessica (white shirt), Me red and white top and Angelo next to me on the end.

Things carried on just fine for a while. I even had a answered prayer. You see I still had a little flame for Chris but he had moved and I didn't go to his school anymore. After my hair cut I just knew he would love me if he ever saw me again. I had prayed and prayed asking to be able to see Chris just one more time and I promised that if God would let me see him again I would never ask again. Well I saw him at the roller skating rink and I was right he liked me and I am pretty sure my fabulous hair had everything to do with it. It was wonderful flirting with him and when we left that day I knew I would never see him again and I never have. God had answered my prayer and I was satisfied.

     In order to maintain popularity you must start trends. I was not aware of this but started one accidentally that at first made me even more popular than I ever would have thought and then without even realizing it I became a drug dealer. I slipped a package of alka seltzer into my pocket to take to school. I had simply had a upset tummy the night before and was worried about having one at school. I was feeling not so well and wanted to take the alka seltzer but quickly realized that I didn't have a cup to dissolve it in. So I thought I would just place it on my tongue and get a drink from the drinking fountain. Well of course as soon as I put a piece of the tablet on my tongue it began to fizz and I found it entertaining so I showed my friend who then wanted a piece herself. Within a couple of weeks everyone was bring tablets to school trading, sharing and hiding. When one of us got caught the who thing was taken very seriously. There was a full investigation that led strait to you know who. There was a meeting with the principal and a letter home.

My beautiful parents 1970 something.

My parents were not strict with us. They had confidence it the principals they were teaching and in their children. They were intimate and playful with us. They knew me. Their response was all out gut wrenching laughter. They found the trail of who gave it to who totally hilarious and I think my mom may have even kept the letter. Not all parents responded like mine. My popularity hit rock bottom. Some were grounded and I am sure some were told to be nice but don't be friends. My hair cut had taken me to the top and now a stupid little piece of alka seltzer had washed it all away.

 I did still have one fan. This awful boy who would talk boldly about things kids shouldn't talk about. He was to me yucky both inside and out. One day he came to the door of my house and asked if he could walk me to school. I was devastated. My Mother insisted that I had to do it even though I had openly said no I think I may have even shut the door on him. She took me aside and scolded me about kindness and sent me out the door. We began walking and when we were a safe distance from the house I told him that I might have to walk to school with him but I was not going to walk on the same side of the street. I crossed the street and that put an end to that nonsense. Over time the alka seltzer feasco faded and I was fine again. But I was no longer popular, for one thing everyone had my hair style and I didn't have the bold personality required to reclimb the social ladder. The next year my family moved again and I went right back to my shy self.

A Mullet Will Do The Trick!

Me 6 mos 1975

I am told that as a baby I was a happy and pleasing child. I would sleep when it was dark and woke when the sun came out. This gave my Mother the brilliant notion to put card board up in my windows and when she was ready for me to wake she would take it down. My first word was, "Yes" and I would use it the way some babies use "No".  Dad likes to remind me that he could ask me if I wanted a spanking and the answer was always a sweet drawn out yes! I have one big brother and one big sister, all I remember about them in my infancy is that my sister didn't want to share with me. I have never been someone who minds being alone. I had many imaginary friends and made up countless stories. My family was big and busy, by age two I had a baby brother and eighteen months later I had a baby sister. For a short period I was the middle child, three more brothers would come to make a total of 8 children. There was only one thing that could have rivaled my need to please my family and that was my love for my imaginary world.

Ethan 1983

 I loved to live in a story. I played barbie and babies and when I was playing with my sister and neighbor children it was in some kind of made up adventure. We would go on pioneer treks, we were often Swiss Family Robinson, there were the beauty pageants and lots for reenactments of Dukes of Hazard and other now iconic TV shows. In one episode of  Incredible Hulk my brother Ethan who was playing the Incredible Hulk kept missing his cue and we were yelling at him about it. He was in a a bi fold closet which he was supposed to jump out of. He couldn't figure out how to open the doors from the inside but never said so. To please his big sisters he did just what the Incredible Hulk would do and pushed the whole door off it's hinges which resulted in stitches for me. I have worn a beautiful scar on the left side of my forehead ever since. My parents didn't get angry about these kinds of things they were just a part of raising kids. They loved my imagination and supported and encouraged it. In fact they have a favorite family story in which I totally lost it on the front row during stake conference because there was not room for my imaginary friend to sit and my brother needed to move because he was sitting on her.
In kindergarten I was always in trouble for day dreaming. I didn't have friends and I didn't care. I spoke to myself on recess and on the way to school and i didn't care if I got made fun of for it.  I loved my stories. It was mostly my own siblings that teased me about it anyway. For the most part my imaginary world went hand in hand with my shy disposition, it was my desire to be pleasing that didn't mix.
On my first day of school I was to shy to get off the kindergarten bus. I had been given instructions by my Mother to get off with a specific neighbor child, but their was a lady with a clip board and she told us that we could only get off if she called our name. The stop came and I watched as the neighbor got off in my slightly familiar part of the world. I could feel that I should say or do something but fear over came me and what I got instead was a long ride back to the school all alone. This was one of those experiences that taught me how important it is to speak up. Like many of life lessons it had to repeat itself a few times before I got it.

Corby and I Easter 1977

In second grade I was lucky to have a wonderful teacher who was Mormon like me. My sister had had her before me and assured me of how fabulous she was. Once I was pretending to follow along during reading, when really I was day dreaming. She put an emotional spotlight on me for the whole class and held me up to them as an attentive student. I carried a lot of guilt for that one. Later that year during math time she asked me if I had completed a problem. I had been day dreaming and so had missed the middle part of the lesson. I miss understood the question and answered her with what I thought was the truth. Later she looked at my paper and chastised me for telling a lie. She kept me after school and gave me a scolding for being dishonest, she told me she knew how I was being raised and that she expected more of me because of it. When my big sister came to pick me up I began to cry and explain the miss understanding. She told me I needed to go back and straiten things out with my teacher. I refused the shy quality in me was more powerful than the deep need to make things right. Corby my sister really worked me over with lots of encouragement and a little prodding. In the end she lost and I refused. I always felt badly about my inability to stand up for myself.

More opportunities  to overcome my shyness lay ahead and I would eventually rise to the occasion. Who would have thought a mullet would do the trick. I was raised to believe I was pretty. My father made sure of that. He was and still is the most romantic and nostalgic person I have ever known. When I was asked to draw myself for the first time I drew myself with a crown. My teacher told my parents this was a very good sign about how I saw myself. Both of them had to know it was all to my Dad's credit. He was always telling me how beautiful I was and my nick name for quite a while was Fara Faucet. She was an actress in the TV show, "Charlies Angel's". I had a sleeping confidence about my looks that was awakened in 4rd grade. My Mother let us get the latest hair style. I had a mullet and now every boy in class and all the girls thought I was beautiful. My popularity sky rocketed and you can not be the most popular girl in class and stay shy and I didn't. Pleasing finally over came shy. Now to learn how to stand up to pleasing.

Summer 1985 My little sister Mandy, myself and cousin

Because I really am Mrs. Boss

I loved the movie Australia (2008 film starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) and for the longest time we had this family joke. I would tell my kids to call me, "Mrs. Boss" and to call their Dad, "The Drover". They would tease me back and tell me no and make fun of me. I didn't care I loved those characters and could relate to them.
In 2012 our family moved and I was asked to speak in Church before we left. Shortly after moving into our home I was asked to speak again. I did something I have never done before. I used the same talk. But here is the thing...it is the best talk I have ever written and it worked for both topics. Also it proved to be a great test for my children to see if they are listening. All three of my oldest harasssed me about how strangely familiar my second speech was. They passed! They really are listening in church!
I wanted my first post to include this talk, speech, sermon, whatever you want to call it, because it sums up why I created this blog. I have lots of stories and the combination of them makes up my unique life. Sharing my stories is a big part of who I am and so here I am blogging.

Talk given April 29^th 2012

River View Ward

            Life is an adventure this young man is leaving to go on what will be one of the greatest adventures of his life. For our family moving into this ward is part of our adventure story. So I thought it would be fun to share part of one of my all time favorite adventure stories!

            One of my favorite lines from this story is,“People like to own things land, luggage, other people… in the end all you really own is your story. I’m just trying to live a good one.”  This story takes place in Australia it’s about a little aborigine boy named Nalla . Due to some desperate circumstances he is allowed to go on a cattle drive. He is excited and eager to show that he can do a, “man’s job”. The head master of this drive is a man they call, “The Drover” because that’s what he does, “droves” the cattle. The Drover is a man of integrity and is referred to as a “trust worthy” man. Before he leads this team of misfits out on this Drove he tells them that there is nothing more intimidating to cattle than a man on his feet staring the cattle strait in the eyes. He makes it perfectly clear that he is in charge and that they are all to keep the, “Drovers Law!” Then as they go out to round up the cattle he teaches the owner of the cattle Sara Ashley who Nalla lovingly calls, “Mrs. Boss” the most important part of Droving Cattle, “Hold the line!” He tells her that you have to keep them together if one gets past others will follow. Your job is to lead them by, “Holding the line.”

            Holding the line is like keeping commandments. The best parents and leaders set the example, share what they know and set high standards this is how they keep everyone together this is how they hold the line. The Drover set a trusted example, he shared what he knew and he let everyone know that he was counting on them to obey.

            One evening during there journey Nalla was responsible for night watch. The cattle were spooked and began to stampede. Nalla knew the cattle were headed strait for a cliff. He hopped on his horse and attempted to round them up. This required him to ride up beside the stampeding cattle. In order to re direct the group he had to get in front of the heard. As he did this he fell off of his horse and found himself on the edge of the cliff. He used the knowledge Drover shared, “there is nothing more intimidating to cattle than a man on his feet staring them strait in the eyes, and he stood and stared at the on coming cattle. He also remembered the teachings of his Grand father King George and began to call upon the spirit. By then everyone in camp was awake and riding out to help. Nalla stood bravely between the cattle and the cliff. What was moments I’m sure felt like hours to Nalla. The cattle became calm and stopped just a few feet away from him. Sara and The Drover ran to him and as his exhausted body fell into Sara Ashley’s arms she whispered to him, “You are safe with me. You are safe with me.”

Brothers and Sisters we each have to find the faith and courage to stand boldly and face the stampedes in our lives!”

Pres. Uchtdorf said, “You need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every hero/in has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength. It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.”

I love the saying, “We only fail when we fail to try!”

Nalla knew he was not equal to the task at hand. He easily could have decided not to risk it, that it was not worth it, and that it was just too hard for a boy his size.

 

 How often are we tempted with these very thoughts? Do we rise to the occasion when we are faced with challenges in our lives?

In a first presidency message entitled, “Living the Abundant Life”. Pres. Monson says, “Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.”

Nalla was blessed because he was obedient. He trusted, believed and had faith in The Drover and his Grandfather’s teachings.

Here’s the thing even in that moment facing that stampeding cattle more help was required. You see Nalla was Brave and he was doing all he could do. The pressure was on and he was taking tiny baby steps back toward the edge of the cliff. He didn’t realize that he was doing this. It was only because Sara was there that he fell into her arms rather than off the cliff.

We need out stretched arms and reassuring whispers. We need to keep the people that are safe close. She whispered, “You are safe with me”. These kinds of people are found in families, immediate family, extended family, wards family, and our world wide family. So remember this young man here will be in the safe arms of our world wide family but he still needs his ward and immediate family he will need our letters of inspiration and encouragement.

Family is essential to our success in life. Not just because we need them but also because they need us.

Satan uses the counterfeit for divine nature. He uses entitlement to awaken in us feelings that destroy our families. He tricks us into thinking that our families owe us! Our divine nature as sons and daughters of God is one of Savior hood! It is our job to stand with or go after members of our families to be there when they face the stampedes in their lives to be the safe and reliable place to fall. In that way we are all missionaries all the time.

Family is like Christmas it’s not about what you get it’s about what you give. Being part God’s world wide family means sacrificing our sons parting with them for two years because we love our whole family and some of us are missing. The sacrifice is therefore more of a blessing isn’t it.

Is it any wonder then that temple work is such a huge part of how we worship. By attending the temple we are doing some of the most selfless work on earth. We open the door of opportunity for those who no longer have physical bodies to accept the ordinances of the gospel that will join them into Gods eternal family.

In Nalla’s story Sara Ashley was willing to put herself in a position of great mortal sacrifice and sliding in right behind her was the Drover. The three of them huddled gratefully together on the edged of that cliff holding on to one another.

It came as no surprise that later in the story these three became a family. They had held on to one another in the most difficult of circumstances and each was required to make personal sacrifices of self interest.

At some point each of these characters suffered the loss of a family member for Sara her husband, for the Drover his brother and for Nalla his Mother. Each would have been justified to despair, grief and even depression. For each of them in that very moment of lose some kind of time sensitive action was required to meet the needs of another even someone who they did not personally know.

Selfless service and sacrifice bring on the greatest blessings known to man. For these three it was each other, a new family.

Two times in Nalla’s story someone says, “Just because it is doesn’t mean it should be!” There is an important message in that line. We can do something to make a difference. Our efforts may not always produce the result that we desire but that does not mean the effort made is of less value.

I wonder sometimes when I hear a great story like Nalla’s or read about courageous men of virtue like Nephi and Capt. Moroni. I wonder about my sacrifices and my little efforts. Satan tries to get me to doubt my individual worth, and I find myself asking, how important am I to the story of this world family?

A prophet seer and revelator a special whiteness of Christ Pres. Uchtdorf addressing our world wide family said this, “Be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss some of life’s sweetest experiences.”

He went on to say some wonderful things about sacrifice.

“An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth. How can we tell the difference for our own situation? We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an eternal perspective. Sometimes, that may even mean nurturing small but beautiful forget-me-not flowers instead of a large garden of exotic blooms.”

I felt so much love as I listened to Pres. Uchtdorf. He is truly a mouth piece of the lord. His words were just the thing the sisters of our church needed to hear.

When we make sacrifices we build relationships of trust. Bishops, the fathers of our ward families make sacrifices for us. I think about the energy of their prayers and the loving concern that they have for there ward families. Todd and I have both worked closely with Bishops. This close association allows for a more intimate view they see our imperfections and we see theirs. Perfection is not a requirement for good leadership. A concentrated effort has been and is being made. Bishop’s love us I have felt that love, Todd has felt that love, our children have felt that love. God works through Bishops to bless his children and bring them home. I sustain our Bishop and am so grateful for the fatherly service and sacrifice he renders I trust him.

At one point in Nalla’s story, The Drover adamantly says, “no man hires me no man fires me.” He wanted to make it perfectly clear that no one tells him what to do, his choice and accountability belong to him and him alone.

Much of the good works we do in our world, ward, immediate and extended families is requested it is service and sacrifice that we are asked and are expected to give.

Will you accept this call to serve a mission?

Would you accept this ward calling?

Would your ward do a service project to celebrate 75 yrs of the welfare program?

Would you pick Dad up or babysit or clean up…

I think you get the idea.

Truly this is some of the best service we give.

But to be celestial service we have to choose, we have to choose to whole heartedly give the service and then give when no one is asking, or watching or knowing.

Our family, God’s eternal family is counting on us. He not only trusted us enough to give us bodies he trusted us enough to give us the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We are taught that peace and joy come from Compliance with the will of our Father in Heaven. He desperately wants us to choose the right. As we repeatedly choose to live the Gospel we choose him. Over time and repeated challenges won we obtain a more perfect knowledge as we repeatedly choose him, choose Christ and choose to allow him to save us, we ultimately give up all our sins to know, to know him. In those moments of perfect, clean and full repentance we feel peace, joy and we know!

Just as our physical bodies grow strongest and best when placed under the strain of doing more, our spirits also must be challenged to increase in strength. I have a friend who returned to full activity 4 years ago. She once shared how hard it was to sacrifice her current life style. It was a huge change and in the struggle to make that change she felt inadequate. She spoke to her brother about these feelings and the struggle. His words were simple and profound. He reassured her by saying, “The sins get smaller and life gets sweeter!”

I quote, “As one complies with the will of our Father in Heaven, there will come spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth and reassurance through the Holy Spirit of truth. That reassurance and joy can grow into a perfect knowledge.” Elder Ronald Halverson Nov 04

In D&C 121:34-36

34 Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

 35 Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—

 36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

Are we striving to live worthily of our blessings?

The greatest blessing any of us will ever know will come from living worthy of our temple sealing.

God wants his children back.

We are not forgotten our stories are not small and in significant. We came to this earth trailing clouds of Glory.

If we give our lives over to God he will make more of us and them than we could ever imagine. That is my life goal that is what my story is all about. You see… In the end we can have so much more than a good story. I love this gospel and feel blessed to be a part of such a special day.

mormon note: When I gave this talk the first time I had been serving as the Young Women President and I told my girlies that I would give them a treat for each time I mentioned a Young Women Value. I got all of them into my talk and was pretty proud of that. Gotta have some cheese mormon fun!