Boys! Boys! Boys!

Shaun Haney was the boy across the street and our story could have been told on a show like the 'Wonder Years'. He was the first boy I ever held hands with. We liked each other in 5th grade and everyone knew because we were square dancing partners. Their was a segment in Gym class for square dancing and you had to choose a partner for the entire segment. Shaun was mine in 5th grade but not 6th I made the huge mistake of accepting another boy as partner in 6th grade which I am sure hurt Shaun's feelings. My teacher even told me I had done better with my partner(Shaun) the previous year. I guess by spring Shaun had forgiven me and we were back in 'like' again because we held hands during a movie at outdoor education. (Outdoor education was a special school camping trip.) I hated that we had become the talk of the 6th grade. The news about our hand holding spread like crazy. Shaun was more of a friend than a boyfriend. He was a genuinely kind person. That said there was the time my sister tied me to the light post on the corner of our street. She left me there for a long time. Shaun road his bike past and didn't save me so there is that. But over all nice boy.

In seventh grade a boy passed me a note in math class asking me if I would be his girl friend. I did have a crush on him and so said yes. He met me at my locker at the end of the day and kissed me. This was not what I thought it would be. He stuck his tounge in my mouth and I didn't like it. I decided I would let it go but he did it again the next day. So the day after that I wrote him a note and told him I didn't want to, "Go Out" with him anymore.

Troy, Andrew and Kendra

I would say my first real boyfriend was Andrew Henry. In 8th grade I was kind of having a do over. My best friend from 7th grade had moved away. A girl who lived accross the street from me took her place, Kendra. She had invited me to go to a movie with some of her friends. She was in 7th grade and being the cool 8th grader that I was and trying to come out of my shy shell, I made fun of all of them the whole night. I had ruined everything. I was rude and all those fun kids were going to have nothing to do with me.

A day or two later I found out that Andrew one of the boys who had been there had a little crush on me. This astonished his friends including Kendra who openly told me I had been pretty rude teasing to much. It just so happened that Kendra's boyfriend was Andrew's best friend Troy. They both lived very close to each other as well. The two of them lived on the other side of the park. So Andrew and I got thrown together a lot because our best friends were a couple.

Kendra and Troy

It didn't take long before we became couples. The shocker came when I realized that I had stolen my friends boyfriend. I was the captain of the cheerleaders and Angie who I was getting to know pretty well was my co-captain.

Angie

She was fun and we got along well. She had told me about her boyfriend and I didn't realize that her boyfriend and my crush were one in the same.We did the dramatic back and forth I would break up with him and he would go back to Angie and then they would break up and we would get back together. It was dramatic hurtful and really really not age appropriate. When Andrew was with Angie I would 'Go Out' with one of his friends. There was a pretty tight group of 7th grade friends, because of Facebook I know that they are still tight. I kissed lots of them. I guess you could say I had my wild days in Junior High rather than High School. (Wild in LDS terms that is.) In the end Andrew, Kendra, Troy and I spent the summer before my 9th grade year together. Andrew and I agreed that when school started we would both move on. The four of us had a fun and memorable summer.

Troy and I

Kendra and Troy ended up Married and are still happily married today. I think I can admit that Andrew was my first love, young as I was I think I really did love him. I still care about him and wish him happiness and well.

Troy, Sergio, Me, Steve above. Some of those fun 7th graders.

Dan was from a whole different friend group. We had a off and on again relationship. Once we even had a secret romance. We got caught kissing by one of our friends and so that came to an end. He was the funny life of the party guy and we became fast and easy friends. We played spoons and truth or dare, did a lot of sneaking out together with other friends late at night and did lots of silly stuff like steeling for sale signs out of peoples yards. We coped through the death of a friend together. Wesly Bennidct (Wes) had been a fun loving all around great guy he died in a car accident the summer before 9th grade. One night a bunch of us were out late walking the neighborhood and we decided that we wanted to make a memorial for Wes. He was a football player and so we decide to go put his name on the field. We ripped up the grass to spell his name. Really a silly thing to do but an overall harmless way to lean on each other and work through our pain. Dan would have been my boyfriend in 9th grade had it not been for my desire to be obedient to the guidelines of my church. I was taught that dating before the age of 16 was not appropriate. I embraced my religion that year. I had developed a strong personal relationship with God through personal prayer. Timing was terrible. Another girl had been liking Dan and the gossip was all about who he would end up with me or her. He basicly chose me only to find out that I would no longer be 'Going Out' with any one. He was hurt and long story short my 9th grade year at North East Junior High was a lonely one. I made friends with a couple of Mormon girls that lived south of Denver and I spent most weekends with them. School was just lonely and hard. I was an outcast by choice trying to figure out how to hold to my standards and stay friends with everyone. I guess that is something to be thankful for since that is also the year that everyone started finding ways to get alcohol to the parities. Today Dan is a distant facebook friend. He is openly Gay and looks to be in a loving long term relationship.

Uriah and I 1992

My focus became youth group and church dances.My friendships with Uriah Otting and Chris Aniscough became solid, fun guys from my church ward. I would meet boys from other cities at church dances and we would talk for hours on the phone. Everything got more wholesome in my social world. There would be no more sneaking out. I wouldn't be kissed again until I was 16 and old enough to date. I would make more friends through early morning seminary. (A daily Scripture Study class held before school at the church house) The transition was sweet, I avoided a lot of heart ache and got back some of my youth. Uriah would have a paint war with me while getting our special olympic booth ready. His Mom spent a great deal of loving time helping me get paint out of my hair. Chris made me a pair of boxer shorts. (Popular PJ attire we all wore over long underwear to seminary.) We would all gather and head to the drive in riding in the back of Chris' truck. We made lots of good memories and really grew to become dear friends. In high school we would all eat lunch together at the 'Mormon Table'. There were more boys than girls my age at church and so my friends were primarily boys. I would have crushes from time to time on both Chris and Uriah but nothing was ever acted on. Uriah and I stayed friends after I moved to Utah and still send Christmas cards to day he was and is a dear and true friend. I sometimes see satire of the religious kids in movies and TV shows and think yep I guess that was us without the ugly twists of course.

Lunch Lady

For two years I have waited on God trusting his timing for joining the work force. In every prayer I ever prayed about the topic there has been a underlying desire to be a 'Stay at Home Mom' that is what is in my heart. It's the Mormon girl dream. That said there have been countless times that I have apologized to Todd because I didn't have a talent to share that would bring in a little extra money. I envied the music lessons my friends could give or the preschools they ran. I have longed to contribute financially. Timing is everything and my life long goal is to learn to live on and accept God's timing.

This job, this lunch lady job is so perfectly suited for me. I still feel very much like a stay at home Mom. I am home when my children are home. (I do miss my time with Lily in the morning but remind myself that I only had a few more months of that anyway and I just hug her and tell her that I miss our mornings the same way I did when each of my other children began full days of school.) My work doesn't drain me of the much needed patience set aside for my children to use up. Rather it has given me structure, motivation, some sisterhood and more family support.

 I have a morning routine that is solid and I love a routine.  I was never very consistant about a morning routine as a mother so many times my children have gotten themselves ready and come to kiss me good bye in bed before heading out the door to school. I wish I could say that this only happened because I had been up all night with a baby but many many times it was because I had stayed up late with Todd watching a movie. Then it was simply because I could. Todd's rotating shifts have always been challenging for me. Keeping to a routine Monday through Friday when his days off often fall mid week and the late shifts mixed with the early shifts. When Todd married me I was a morning person who loved a strong morning routine. I am rediscovering that morning person, I wasn't sure she existed anymore. The only sad part is that I nod off at ten and poor Todd is left to finish what ever program or movie we've selected without me. We say our couple prayer before we turn on any entertainment now and I guess it doesn't bother him to much if I don't stay awake.

 I am more motivated to get things done when I get home because I have only a couple of hours before the children come home but also because I am more emotionally filled.  I eat lunch with 9 other ladies every day who are kind and want to get to know me. We work and visit for all but the half hour that we serve lunch to the students. I come home to find Todd has pitched in to help with the house work the way he did when we had babies. I hope he keeps it up. I thank him a lot so it's likely to continue. I can say to my kids you've got to be more helpful I work now and they do and are more helpful. I don't feel overburdened I feel relieved.

I don't feel robbed of anything. There have been and will be sacrifices but they have all been small. In fact lots of thing have played out very differently than they originally seemed. We found some tax write offs. Our pumpkin patch and egg business are two of the things we overlooked. So we won't owe quiet as much as we thought. We have settled into a rough budget that allows for some home improvements, that has always been a hobby Todd and I have enjoyed together so it's wonderful to be moving forward on some projects. We won't have to sell our travel trailer and we will be able to contribute to Steve's mission fund. So our fall fundraiser will be turned over to Audrie this year to run and decide on a non profit organization to donate too. She will use it as a Young Women Project. Then next year we will give it to Sharp and hopefully it will be his eagle project. I love family service projects and hope that this becomes a special family tradition. I am learning to be patient with God. His plan for my life is a good one and sometimes it looks messy but the pieces always come together over time and make sense.