Back to Work After Almost 18 Years

Friday Todd did the taxes and delivered the worst ever news, we owe! We realigned our finances last year to make the budget work with his new job. We thought we had paid all that we would need too. We were wrong. We owe more than I can earn working part time in one year. It's a devastating amount for our family. A feeling of peace came over me and Todd as well. We have said, "I love you!" more than usual and been more capable of accepting this mess then ever before. Are we just getting used to getting the shaft in life or are we growing some kind of awesome faith. I like to think it's the latter and I have proof.

First of all how could I ever feel like I got the shaft, money is a large aspect of running a family and we are always squeezing dollars out of dimes but this family has not gone through a divorce we have had no medical crisis and we have this amazing house that we love and sometimes love to hate. We have more everyday happy than we could ever wish for. I am happy for other people to, the differences in our blessings and life styles doesn't challenge me or push me to draw unhealthy comparisons like it did when I was in my twenties. One of the many reasons that getting older is the best!

It's just got to be faith. Saturday I got to go and see a most beloved cousin sealed to her husband. They have a combined family his three her two and now one together. A sweet reminder that the greatest blessings in life come from being in families. I had been preparing a primary sharing time on Heavenly Father's plan of happiness with a focus on the fact that we are his spirit children. As I pondered this all week the joy of it really filled me. Sunday was fast Sunday and we fasted for help to find solutions to our current financial situation. I shared in church (testimony meeting) the joy of seeing this beautiful family sealed and a little about one of my best friends and her families sealing, the joy of the Plan of Salvation and how wonderful it is. The plans I make are never going how I think they will. God's plan is rock solid. Whether we believe in it or not it just is. I believe that sharing increases my faith and it did. I have this growing confidence in and for God that if I am doing my best and striving he will bless me. The blessings are not what I order up they are almost never what I think they will be but they come. We have learned to count on it.

Monday we got to work looking for answers. We applied for a loan to pay the taxes. The loan officer told me about a waiver we could try to get that she wasn't sure they even give anymore it would allow us to put the full amount of what we owe in the loan at a great interest rate and term. I put together my resume and applied for a few little jobs one 12 hr a week maintenance job that I was sure would be perfect. Todd applied for a few jobs as well. I raked over our budget and sighed at the thought of more cuts. We decided to sell our large SUV and camper/trailer and get a mini van, that will buy down some of our debt and we will spend less money on gas each month. I dished out bad news to the kids. Sharp will have to use his lawn care money to pay for football ($250.00) and Audrie who is already paying most of her way in life will not have a car to drive next year. The old beater truck Steve has been driving will have to be sold. Funny Audrie was really looking forward to driving that thing, I found that surprising. Last week I visited with a old college roommate who presented the idea that turning more financial responsibility over to your children is a gift and teaching tool. For us it hasn't been a choice we have had to do it. Having her present it that way made what in the past has been tearfully painful so much easier. On Monday night Audrie suggested that I apply for a lunch lady job. I did so on Tuesday morning believing that the hours would be impossible and the money not worth the work. I got a call later that day for a interview. The hours were perfect I would leave half hour after putting the kids on the bus and be home two and a half hours before they get home. We talked it over and figured I would take the job even if the money was lousy the hours were just to perfect. The interview was more of a orientation and the pay was 2.50 more per hour than I thought. Later in the day my friend who I had mentioned in my testimony and had been thinking about called with some last minute tickets to see a show at the play house where her daughter works and within thirty minutes we were on a double date with dear friends. In the middle of the rush to get out the door I got a call from the loan officer, we got the waiver and approved for the loan.

This morning I was thinking about working. I don't feel bad about it. We prayed about it last night and the night before. This is all right. Things are going to be all right. They are not what we had pictured or planned but it's all working out and it's going to be okay. Last night my friend shared a great story about fasting and answered prayers and I realized that our fasting and prayer has also brought on a little miracle for our family. Our problems didn't go away but solutions came together with record speed.

I told the primary children on Sunday about how we all shouted for joy in the premortal world  (Job38:4,7) when Heavenly Father told us about his plan and making this world for us. I am full of that joy being alive and mortal and challenged and growing it's a great and wonderful thing worth celebrating.